Is Jon Peters The Dumbest Man In Comic Book Movies?


I was reminded earlier today about the Kevin Smith Superman project that died back in 1998 which led to me re-reading some of the stories about it, and re-igniting my hatred for Jon Peters. This part of the Wikipedia entry really sums up most of the problems with Peters quite nicely:

Kevin Smith pitched to Jon Peters his story outline in August 1996, in which Peters gave him permission to write a screenplay. However, Peters presented Smith with three rules, such as wanting Superman to wear an all-black suit, feeling the more traditional suit was "too faggy"; not wanting to see Superman fly, saying that Superman would "look like an overgrown Boy Scout." (In order to deal with this, Smith wrote Superman flying as "a red-and-blue blur in flight, creating a sonic boom every time he flew."); and have Superman fight a giant spider in the third act. Smith accepted the terms, realizing that he was being hired to execute a pre-ordained idea. Peters and Warner Bros. forced Smith to write a scene involving Brainiac fighting polar bears at the Fortress of Solitude, and Peters wanted Brainiac to give Lex Luthor a space dog, stating "Chewie's cuddly, man. You could make a toy out of him, so you've got to give me a dog." Smith claims this was because of the recent re-release of the original Star Wars trilogy, and claims that Peters wanted Brainiac's robot assistant L-Ron to be voiced by Dwight Ewell, calling him, "a gay R2-D2 with attitude." Peters was able to recycle his giant spider idea in Wild Wild West, a film he produced.
Yes, Spiderman vs. Giant Spider, Braniac vs. Polar Bears, non-faggy black suits, and a gay R2-D2 with attitude (how much more gay can you make a robot than R2-D2 by the way?). Now, Kevin Smith was probably going to end up turning the movie into a turd anyway as he had casting choices in mind like Jason Mewes as Jimmy Olson, then Tim Burton came in and was going after guys like Tim Allen for Braniac. It was likely going to be a disaster no matter what direction they went. I have no doubt that Smith's story was as good as one could expect given limitations like polar bear battles seeing as how most of his actual comic book work has been solid to great. But the world was spared a potential "worst movie ever" when the studio canned the film after $30 million was spent on absolutely nothing.

As if Peters ideas weren't dumb enough with Superman, he also got involved with attempts to bring Sandman to the big screen. Again Wikipedia gives us the scoop:

Jon Peters involvement in adapting the critically acclaimed and highly popular Sandman comics has also met with controversy. One draft, reviewed on the Internet at Ain't It Cool News, was met with scorn from fans. Sandman creator Neil Gaiman called the last screenplay that Warner Brothers would send him "...not only the worst Sandman script I've ever seen, but quite easily the worst script I've ever read." Gaiman also has said that his dissatisfaction with how his characters were being treated had dissuaded him from writing any more stories involving the Sandman characters, although he has since written Endless Nights. By 2001, the project had become stranded in development hell.

In a 2005 interview, Gaiman summarized the Peters approach as follows: "But Sandman movies, they just got increasingly appalling. It was really strange. They started out hiring some really good people and you got Elliott and Rossio and Roger Avary came in and did a draft. They were all solid scripts. And then Jon Peters fired all of them and got in some people who take orders, and who wanted fistfights and all this stuff. It had no sensibility and it was just...they were horrible."

As with other films, Jon Peters insisted on the inclusion of a giant mechanical spider.
Yeah, another giant mechanical spider. This guy wanted one in Superman, then put one in Wild Wild West, and then wanted another one in Sandman. Am I out of the loop? Are giant mechanical spiders box office gold? Who the hell is in Jon's ear telling him the public is clamoring for giant mechanical spiders? It's as if he has the most absurd manifestation of OCD possible. Oh well, at least I enjoyed his work on Clue.

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