Anime Review :: Key the Metal Idol

Director :: Hiroaki Sato
Language :: English Dub
Runtime :: 15 Episodes (13x30 min. 2x90 min)
Genre :: Drama. Sci-Fi. Cyberpunk.

A truly great short anime series is the kind of thing you can bang out on a Sunday afternoon. It'll start with lunch and poppin' on a new title and before you realize it the final credits are rolling, it's dark outside, and you can't believe how quickly the day's gone by. I can remember sitting totally lost in the beautiful world of Kino's Journey or laying in bed with a cold but still enchanted by the whimsy of Jing: King of the Bandits. However, it seems like an entire lifetime has gone by in the time it's taken me to painstakingly drag myself through Key The Metal Idol. In fact, in some ways it has...

Since I first stepped into the world of Key, my dad's passed away, I've moved, and my best friend has gotten married. Albeit that those things just happened to all taken place over the span of a month, it really does feel like a significant amount of time has passed since I was first introduced to the little robot girl who spoke exclusively in the third person on her quest to become human.

In the first installment of Key, the leading robo-lady's grandfather passes away and in his final message to her he reveals that she only has a short time left on this world before her battery runs dry, but there is a way for Key to go on. If she can make 30,000 friends, Key can become a real girl. Upon learning the rules of the world I'd entered into, I sat at my computer with a gob struck look on my face and could only muster up a quiet "oh god" as I realized the fate I was doomed to for the next nine anime-hours of my life.

I can remember the first day I excitedly started the series just to realize that, what seemed like hours later, I'd actually only watched three episodes. I can also recall the joyous feeling I got when I assumed I was nearing the end only to find that I had completed a mere eight episodes. Now, I may be painting a grim picture of the series and it's not completely without some decent qualities. The world itself is inventive at times and the villain is a right dick who's well constructed and pretty haunting, and if you can stomach the pop idol worshiping nonsense that story itself isn't terrible, but the pacing. My god, the pacing.

The thing that takes what could have been a cute little robot-girl-Pinocchio story into such a grueling task is the fact that there's very little cause for what's happening on screen the majority of the time. What one minute seems like establishment of character relationships the next winds up irrelevant. Development often happens only to then be undone or explained away as a fluke as the cast are randomly exploded, ripped to shreds, or simply vanish into the scenery. (Not that the series is particularly violent, but when they time is right, Key does like to go for the gusto.)

There's also the assault of very annoying quirks peppered throughout like Key's third-person speak and meanwhile-back-at-evil-headquarters cutaways that rarely make sense or serve a purpose other than to establish "yeah, these guys are jerks."

The most exciting episode, ironically, is the first feature-length one, "System" wherein two of the characters (one from the good camp and one from the baddies) deliver simultaneous monologues explaining all the story that the series had yet to bother with before the final confrontation. That might sound like an exaggeration, but I'm not kidding, the entire episode takes place in a park and the aforementioned evil headquarters. No development. No action. Nothin'. Just a conversation and a soliloquy. And, yes, it really is the best 90 minutes of the entire series. Mostly because after all that work making it to that point, you're finally rewarded with a glue-and-duct-tape together explanation of why everything you saw over the last seven hours mattered in any way. The final episode is the inevitable showdown at "the big concert" ...not to give too much away.



The decision to end with two feature-length mini-movies is something that I'd have loved were Key a more enjoyable experience. I can't imagine how fun it would have been to have FLCL or either season of Black Lagoon end with a couple of movies that close the story arc (as opposed to the usual anime move of tossing in an out-of-sequence unrelated movie at the end. ...I'm lookin' at you Cowboy Bebop.)

Despite coming together fairly well in the end and certainly not being the worst thing I've seen (or rated for Oh Tetsuo) I can't in good conscious recommend anyone go dig up this series simply for the sheer amount of time and will-power it takes to plow through.